My Mood Swing

ok... perhaps i owe everybody who has talked to me lately an apology and explanation of my sudden bad mood and straight forwardness :-( but of course what i told everybody was to blame it on my pms. truthfully it wasnt entirely that. it was a lot of things put into 1 big angry leo.

first there was my exam that squeeze every single drop of patience in me. then fatigue of everything got a whole large portion of me. thank got i kind of have i whole week's of rest next week to regain all strength i lost for the past couple of weeks.

other factors that provoked my moodiness is i guess the thought of people looking down on me. really... i can't stand people who could not accept me for the way im. i don't like people who tries to change me. ive really tried to elimineted parts of me that i think doesnt suit or doesnt bring me any good. i really have. but inspite of all that why does people still want to change me?

ive sat and pondered about all the things i brother told me. a lot of it will make me a better person. one that i treasure the most but still learning is when he said 'think before you speak'. it is so true because there is always more than one way to get any message across but i still need to learn those skills. the comments that i'm getting late deeply hurts me, but i could not do or say anything in fear of hurting the other party.

im known to be really soft hearted. sometimes i feel that i take care too much about other peoples feeling than my own. i love pleasing people. but in return i always get stepped on the head. but i never learn my lesson. because of these weakness of mine, people usually don't take me seriously and i seldom get things done my way. maybe that's also one of the reasons of my frustration.

snother thing my brother told me is that 'nothing could make you angry or sad except for yourself'. if you think carefully, all my anger and frustration is not thoroughly necessary and worth too. maybe i should learn to take others lightly too and also control my temper and not let anger get in my way.