BAD SITUATION~

i freaking feel freaking guilty now lar~ huhu...

i've done something really bad, and i think im very hated by people now~!!! boohoo~!!! i know i should do it. that's why im not treating the situation as i'm suppose to treat as if it's a real situation. i just don't want to drown myself with too much emotions, because i know the situation is not stable. but i'm so hurting people's feelings in the process. i feel freaking bad.

because seriously, the situation is not like what it seems. it's not as wonderful, it's not as flowery... it's just not. in fact i treat the situation a level lower than it's suppose to be. because i not the situation is just not mend to be how it is now. i know it's better off being how it originally is and stay that way. but because of my selfihness and involvement, it's very messy now.

sometimes i feel like i have to quite this ugly situation. because 1st of all, i hate to live in a lie. lie to myself, lie to people i truly care and love, lie to the world. and worse of all, im hurting many people in the process. but i don't know why i'm letting myself make matters worse. im such an idiot. somebody please hit my head hard *i know somebody who's reading this who'd be more than willing to do so*.

it's really not the fact that i might break my own heart by quitting, but i don't even know what's holding me back. the situation might more or less still be the same only having a diferent title to it, maybe that's why im not doing anything~ i feel evil. huhu...