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How do you let go of your past? Do you hate? Do you just forgive? Do you hold a grudge? Or do you just choose to not think too much about it?
Well I have my fair share of a semi complicated past, B-O-Y-S playing a huge part in it too. Ever since I was in the secondary school, I had many crushes the more prominent ones being a few such as they guy who treated my horribly but I still choose to crush on him, the guy who I use to fall so deeply for up until as recently as early last year, and another one who also liked me but had not dared to approach me.
My main focus though, is guy number 2 who I had had a crush on for almost 5 years. For real. At first I liked him without him knowing, and when he knew, he kept me waiting for another year and just to let me down at the very last minute. But our memories were too great for me to just let go and forget. That's also because he was always there for me when I needed it. Like a guardian angel (or should i say a vulture?), he will know when to come and steal my heart again. I tried to find rebounds to keep my mind off him. But try and try again, he is always there somewhere at the back of my head. Till Bie came around and then I conjured all my energy away from Guy 2. No, I hold no grudge although a lot of my time, feelings and love was wasted for a long time on him, he has his choice, I'm sure he did what he did for a reason. We are both leading great new lives now anyways. I still count on my blessings that I will have him as a friend in need for a long time more.
Other matter are such as my ex. Yes I admit, I had hated him. Revenge aside, I don't want to blame him for what he did. Perhaps at that time he was doing it, he thought it was the right thing to be done. Maybe it was the way he was brought up. Could also be that his thinking method was that of a child because of his education level. But in the end I blame myself too cause i choose to get involved with him in the first place. I have him to thank for too as because of him I had learnt a lot. Without him, how can I improve? How would I know what's right and what's wrong? No, I do not see myself being with him ever again, I can't even imagine being friends with him again, but I do feel the hatred fading. It had taken time, but I had done it, it's almost gone now.
Don't hate, it'll only take a huge chunk of energy from your system. There are many ways to release your feelings. Talk it out, scream it out, sing it out, dance it out, cry it out anything~ Always remember, things happen for a reason. Take it as a lesson in live. If every one knew what will be happening in the future, there will be no accidents, no war, no shit. Things always happen for a reason. You did not choose things to be bad, you never knew it would be bad in the first place. At that time when you were involved, you probably thought it was for the best. But shit happens, you fall, you cry but always remember that you learn as well. Let it go~
I'm blogging while working. Boss is not around XD . Anyways, I'm off back to work now.
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