Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Truth? Lie?

i don't assume things. i judge base on evidence and experience. if there should be a truth, i want to hear it 1st hand. im grateful for all 3rd party sources. cause if there weren't them, i will forever be in the dark. but i won't solely rely on 3rd party source until i have evidence of my own.

i value honesty. of cause i don't want to be made a fool. that's why i like clarification. i do not do assumption. to avoid accusation, i usually encourage explanation. that way, i believe misunderstanding can be avoided.

when i do something, i usually put my whole heart into it. i am a prefectionist to a certain extend. if there is an interferance, a lot of times i break down, but most of the time i want to find out why and how i could overcome it. that's why sometimes i can get too personal with things.

i read about certain people who believes in certain things but in reality fails to prove so. with that said many things could come out of it, one major part, miscommunication and misunderstandings. i do hear about peolpe who shamelessly assume things just to make things sound like or seem like how they want it to be. for what reason? i do not know.

but i don't deny that i might be the one to mistaken. but as i say, i don't say things before i check. i might be trusting the wrong person too, but yet again, i checked. but, i still do not wish to get hurt or hurt anyone in this matter. on a more selfish part, who doesn't want every thing good for themselves right?

i thank my 3rd party for alerting me, really appreciate it~~

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Mix Emotions~

It was a weekend of fun, love and laughter~~ why must happy times pass so darn fast?? damn. i miss it and i miss him already...

feeling quite tired now. and also somewhat disorientated and loss for some reasons. for once since i started working up here on genting highlands, i feel like i want to be at some place else. sigh~~

i wish time will pass faster~~ oh god... make this sickening feeling go away please... sigh~ maybe it was the alcohol intake last night which made the feelings, which i've been trying to mask, enhanced. what should i do?

in future, i will know to think things through before doing anything stupid. though it could be fun at the moment (with the help of alcohol) but it's so worrifying afterwards. i hope things will be fine.

another thing is that, i don't know how to not worry about my possesions to be snatched by others. it could be karma though. blame it on myself. i try not to think about it too much, but honestly, it's so difficult. i feel lost.

these are all my own honest feelings i currently feel. i needed to talk.