Thursday, November 30, 2006

Essentials for a good relationship

1) Trust: If you truely love that someone, you will trust that person in every situation. whether it comes to another member of the opposite sex or being away from each other for a period of time. you must believe that if the other party really does like you, he or she will know better to not betray your trust. if the person does go over board in anything, he or she is not worth your love.

2) Life: You must have a life besides your significant other. always remember that your world does not revolve around her, neither does her world revolve around you. give the person you love enough breathing space, for suffocation can kill the relationship. unless mutual want or agreed, nobody likes to be tied down. give him or her the time he or she needs.

3) Don't take advantage: Don't take for granted of the kindness of your love one. he or she might not visibly show his or her dissatisfaction towards you but you know better to control yourself. don't kick a fuss if you don't get what you want. listen to the other person's view. respect it. don't feel like as if you should be treated like queen or king just because the other person loves being with you. remember, even kindness can get exhausted.

4) Respect: Loving a person also equals respecting the person. If your lover decides to or decides not to do something, respect that decision. do not ever force the person you love to do something he or she does not like to do. if he or she tell your his or her dreams, or share her problem with you, do not laugh at her. always listen, offer a crying shoulder and never make her feel worst or put her down.

5) Accepting: You fell in love with the girl in shabby clothes in the first place, why do you need to change the way she dresses later on in the relationship? you fell in love with her as she originally was, if you change her, won't she be a different person already? learn to accept little things like that in a relationship. do not attempt to change him or her. i'll be really hurting. it's like asking the other person to be something or someone else they're not. if you are not satisfied with these little things, go find yourself someone else you think fits.

6) Talk: And i mean TALK not argue. no one relationship is perfect but doesn't mean you have to pick on every little thing to argue about. if you find something that you might not be happy about, talk it through. there is no use in arguing. arguing only will created more anger. when anger is not resolved, there will be bigger consequences to pay.

7) Listen: Sometimes we talk so much, we forget to listen. listen when your lover is talking, do not interrupt him or her till she is done. and listen carefully. as every sentence has it's hidden meanings. listen carefully. sometimes it's not always the other party that is at fault. sometimes lowerring your ego and admitting your own mistakes can be a blessing in disguise.

8)Go Slow: Marriage and children can wait. why not take the moment and enjoy loving each other first? rushing into things can be a big mistake. there are people who likes being love and not rush. don't make hasty plans for the future. being in a relationship is already a big commitment. don't pressure your love one with more. they might run a mile, and very quickly away from you.

**so here are a few thing i think is important for those who are in a relationship, as for me, may it help you in anyways**

Don't Take Life for Granted

Moment of silence in memory of our friend Ahmad Tarmizi

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He passed away yesterday, did not survive the road accident he was involved in. it's never nice to hear about a death, especially the death of someone we knew. in life, we never know and never WILL know what could happen. we can't take anything for granted and bluff ourselves that everything will be fine and nothing bad will befall on us. love the people around you, let them know that you love them all the time. appreciate everything you have. because you will not know how long you will have them. don't only regret when you've lost them. above it all, love yourself, think about all consequences of your actions. don't be selfish. look around you, what you see is just illusions and you won't have anything forever. nothing is permanent. so always appreciate what you already have.

to the family of our dearly missed friend, condolence and we all share the burden of loosing a loved one. may you rest in peace my friend.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Amatuer

Im an amatuer when it comes to love and relationships. and i tink i might be suffering from the fear of commitment. one of the cause of my last failed relationship is because he was becoming too commited and i got scared. tell me, in every relationship, is sticking together most of the time a neccesity? because i can't seem to feel comfortable doing that.

right now, i can't picture myself staying with only one person. no, no don't get me wrong, i don't mean i want to have flings or have affairs while in a relationship. what i mean is that i don't see myself being able to commit into something, that seem to me, so huge. it's too scary and a lot of hard work. maybe i'm just not ready for it yet, ya? i feel the need to play and be free and not being tied down.

till now, im 20 years 1 month and 1 day old, i can honestly tell you that i have not actually felt true love. the feeling that supposely make you all floaty and craps like that or easier said, the feeling where you would litterally die for a person, i never felt it. am i a horrible person? i don't even know how to love. god~!!! what kind of a person im? i do wonder whether i will ever feel it. do sincerely do want to be love and be able to love the person in return. well, probably the right person hasn't come along.

so now, i've decided that i don't want to break anymore hearts as long as i can't get over my 'phobia'. because as long as the 'fear' is there, im just going to repeat the mistake time and again. unless well, if the right person ... *ahem* ... decides to break this 'invisible wall' of mine, ya? who supports me????

Life's like that...

have you ever wanted something but after you got it, you realise that you don't need or not ready to have it yet? ya... that's how im feeling now lar basically. except it's not like i don't need or unready but it's more like i don't know how to use it. get what i mean?

i've always felt like as if i do not get enough freedom from my parents. i always feel like a kid at home. i feel like my parents holds on me too tightly and all. i want them to let go a little, be more relax on me. i not only want them to let go, but (Jennifer Aniston's quote from the Break-Up) i want them to WANT to let go.

i don't like to do things that people does not like me to do. i like the sense of freedom and not guilty. get what i mean? i like willingness and not force. but no... my parents don't see that. they don't understand that. when i try to talk to them about it, they think im trying to rebel. basically im just stuck.

i understand that whether your are the eldest, middle or youngest child, in the order of your siblings, you have different responsiblities. and it is not easy being either. but they always say being the youngest is the easiest. and we are known to be spoilt for being given what we want all the time. but no... not this family, trust me.

being the youngest is only fun when you are young. when you come to my age, you will want to break free but in your parents eyes, you are still a baby. you know you are capable and will want to do many things on your own but again you are a baby. you try your best to do the things you think will please them but it's never enough, why? because you are a baby and you can never match up to your more telented, independent, elder siblings.

you will never grow up in their eyes. i understand that all parents will regard their children the same way, as in you will be kids in their eyes even after you turn 40. but for the older ones, you do grow up. the youngest will always stay a baby. it's frustrating and suffocating for us as the youngest sometimes.

it's like they do not want to let go of you because they are afraid to feel the 'empty nest' syndrome. so they will hold on to us for as long as they can. so don't blame us when sometimes you might think that we are rebels or spoilt. it's only because we are deprived of freedom and independence that we all so long for, that's the reason we rebel.

as the youngest, we have to work doubley or maybe even tripley harder than our older siblings to earn our independence. no matter how hard we try it's never enough. we are always babies in their eyes. they'll refuse to understand or admit that it's time we grow up. they'll always be in denial that we are capable.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

what do i do now?

anyway, this sem is really very rush. next week i will be sitting for my first mid term paper di. so fast, rite? too fast... australia is still so fresh in my head and i have to sit for exam again di. haiz... but good oso lar...

than there's volleyball lessons. oo, for those who does not know, im taking volleyball lessons as cocuriculum this sem. im not good at it, in fact im not good in any sports at all. but i look forward to the lessons ony for 1 reason... hehe...

than that's all lor... actually i have absolutely nothing to blog about. i just feel like typing sometings. oh ya... another thing, i just did some 'spring cleaning' in my blog. i threw away some (now) senseless posts and other embarassing ones too... hehe... go read lar.

49 Facts About Me ---> my latest update

1..Are u photogenic?
>> no lar~!!! i hate looking at myself in photos... bluek~!!!

2. What time do you go to bed?
>> It used to be pass midnite into the wee hours of the morning, but lately it has been much earlier like 11+ i pengsan di wan...

3. What was the last thing you did before this?
>> eat lunch lor...eat wan tan mee with su ling...

4. Who's the one you always meet the most?
>> besides my parents, i see a lot of jo neil, joo li, jeff, radikah, chi ei, junjune and many more. the prob is i can't just name A personcause the people i meet always comes in package(s).

5. Who's the person you'll call if you need help?
>> i have a very high self ego, i seldom ask for help. that's the prob you see, i wait till things get really mess up than only i shout for help...haiyo...

6. What's on your mind right now ?
>> tomorrow... hehe...

7. What do you prefer?american idol/malaysian idol?
>> what about Australian...?

8. With whom do you wanna be with to have fun?
>> the person who is in my mind now.

9. What movie do u wanna watch now?
>> erm... tak ada lar...

10. When was the last time you went out?
>> about an hour ago...

11. What do you hate the most for now?
>> hate is a very powerful word, i tak layak to use it lar... i hate no one.

12. What do you do everyday besides eat & sleep?
>> in front of my darling baby PC~!!!!

13. Colors that make you happy ?
>> orange and all the other bright colors...

14. Most fav thing in your room ?
>> MY BABY DARLING PC~!!!

15. Miss someone?
>> yupz...so very much

16. Plan to buy something?
>> i've exited my monthly budget, have to wait till next month oni can spent somemore.

17. Are you satisfied with your life now?
>> do i need to be? there's always room for improvement lei...

18.Do you like seafood?
>> love it~!!!

19.Breakfast or dinner?
>> somewhere in the middle... hahaha~!!!

20. like chocolates?
>> only bitter sweet dark chocs... other than that nah...

21. Do you have a laptop?
>> i have a (semi) powerful desktop, why do i need a lappy? i love my desktop a lot~!!!

22. What's your favorite food from fast food?
>> tom yum bihun soup from johnny's ---> is johnny's a fast food outlet?

23. Cats or dogs?
>> Dogs lar~!!!! aiyo... cats geli lar...tak boleh tahan.

24. Salty or sweet?
>> salty lor...

25. City or country?
>> live in the country, party in the city~!!!

26. Is kissing normal for your age?
>> hello...? im 20 years old... if it's not normal, then how old oni can be considered 'normal' wor?

27. Are you athletic?
>> nopez...

28. Favourite bands for now?
>> Panic! at the disco, and hinder...

29. Do you have your own cell phone?
>> yupz... but i want a new one... huhu...

30. What do you wear to bed?
>> t-shirt and boxers...

31.Ever had a crush on a teacher in high school?
>> eeeeyer.... every teacher of mine reminds me of my own father... you say lei~!!!

32. Coke or pepsi?
>> i don't drink cardonated drinks lor...

33. sugar or spice?
>> spice~!!!

34. Can you use chopsticks?
>> i won't call myself chinese if i cant...

35. Do you care about getting good grades?
>> nope...at the level i am now... im happy to just pass wei~!!!

36.Have you ever fallen asleep in class?
>> nope...honest~!!!

37. Get a job or ask your parents for money?
>> if you have the time and qualification, of cause it's better to earn your own.

38. Is your mom strict?
>> yupz... need i say more?

39. Do your parents give you enough privacy?
>> nope... sometimes i feel that they are too involved with my life, but i know that they only mean well.

40. Do your parents trust you?
>> they worry about me a lot...but i can't blame them, im still their baby

41. Would you ever wanna lose your bestfriend?
>> hell no~!!! i love my bestfriend(s)~!!!!

42. Does your best friend get on your nerves?
>> hey, nobody is perfect k...

43. Do you make friends quickly?
>> can say so lar...

44. Do you tell your mom everything?
>> i use to... but i know better to not anymore now...

45. What do you & your parents fight about most?
>> many things lar...

46. If u love someone & she/he rejected u. What will u do to her/him?
>> nothing... happen before, but we are still good friends now lor...

47. Can u sing or rap?
>> nope... scream in the bath and toilet ya lar...

48. If u have one wish , who would u make ur wife/husband for life?
>> that guy lor... you know lar... duuu.... that one lar...

49. What do u think bout this survey?
>> ok only lar...

i hereby tag shi en, su ling, yong hwee, and may to do this survey.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

I forgot the most important thing...

11) does a guy or will a guy know when a girl likes him, without her telling?

* answer this and also the questions in the previous post*

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

the truth might hurt...but i want to know

1) can or will a guy like a girl but just wants to be friends?

2) does a pinch (or a playful punch, etc.) for no reason mean anything?

3) can or will a guy (want to) be close to a girl that has hots for him?

4) how does guys really rate girls (between friend and girlfriend)?

5) what does it mean when a guy actually ask a girl to wait?

6) does a guy feel bad/guilty/jealous/etc. when the girl that once had hots for him falls for or is with another guy?

7) do guys enjoy presents?

8) what will a guy think of a girl who gives him presents?

9) is it possible that a guy wants to be with a girl, but just not YET?

10) how to win a guy's heart?

* people reading this, please respond to these silly questions by leaving a comment ya? thanks *

Sunday, November 12, 2006

where is the love?

man~!!! what lousy friends i have~!!! nobody offer me any sympathy at all after a break up~!!! you know what is the worst? the 1st person who i told, actually LAUGH OUT LOUD at me~!!! hahahaha~!!! ade ker patut???

i thought i'm a very sadistic rperson, tak sangka got other people more more sadistic than me~!!! hahaha~!!!

no lar... actually i don't even sympathise myself. everybody saw it coming right? ya, i did too. that's why i dare not give out too much promises. better end it now than to do it later where the cut and heart break will be much more worst.

to every single friend of mine, thanks for all the love and support. though you people did not say much to me from the very beginning, i know all of you care a lot for me. thanks for taking my mind off everything. THANKS A LOT PEOPLE~!!!