I'm going home today. I hope everything will be smooth flowing and fine for next week and lunar year. I try to please everybody but most of the time i fail at it. But I'm really trying. I'll be one of the most awaited time of the year for the family, Chinese New Year. I really hope every thing will be ok.
To friends who are reading this, "Gong Xi Fa Cai" to you. May the year of the Ox bring you abundance, and you be blessed with many many prosperity, joy, love, health and happiness. May those single friends find true loves and coupled friends find everlasting happiness in each other. May lady luck always be looking upon you and I'm sending love to all my friends out there~!!
Gong Xi Fa Cai~!!!
Leonie loves you~!!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Uneasiness
i hope it'll be over soon...
**pace around the office**
i hope it'll be over soon...
**drums fingers on the table**
i hope it'll be over soon...
**bites on nails**
**pace around the office**
i hope it'll be over soon...
**drums fingers on the table**
i hope it'll be over soon...
**bites on nails**
~@@~
I'm acting like a mad, possesive person~ I'm a green eyed monster~ why why why??? I cannot be like that, I cannot be like that, I cannot be like that... I just hope the time will pass faster... &^%#!^$&*^$
**Replays the songs 'I'm yours' and 'Fall for you' in her head**
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
My Gem~
How come I cannot relax and not think too much even how much I tell myself to? I'm trying my best to work hard and not think about the 'what if' and imagining. I know trust and commitment are 2 things that I had and have always been reminded on. And I know despite all the brawls and 'test' that I have been put through there is still a huge chunk of love and care involved. But why? Why can't I stop worrying? Where had all my confidence gone?
I really appreciate that my feelings are spared this time or at least reduce the hurt factor by at least 50%, but I still can't help but feel the queasiness right down in the pit of my stomach which is not too good for my stomach condition. I thank the honesty and I do admit that that is what I want and not catching people red handed again. Sometimes being in a relationship is like taking care of or nurturing a young child. It needs a lot of attention, a lot of love and manja-ness. I don't want to feel like I'm a hawk praying on it's kill of the day.
I'm just learning to love, trust and enjoy this so called adult relationship. Don't blame me for feeling a little like a mother trying to protect her child from harm, though. I really hope for the best. As promise will stay a promise, I'm not mad, I'm not angry. Just wanted to tell someone. That's all.
I really appreciate that my feelings are spared this time or at least reduce the hurt factor by at least 50%, but I still can't help but feel the queasiness right down in the pit of my stomach which is not too good for my stomach condition. I thank the honesty and I do admit that that is what I want and not catching people red handed again. Sometimes being in a relationship is like taking care of or nurturing a young child. It needs a lot of attention, a lot of love and manja-ness. I don't want to feel like I'm a hawk praying on it's kill of the day.
I'm just learning to love, trust and enjoy this so called adult relationship. Don't blame me for feeling a little like a mother trying to protect her child from harm, though. I really hope for the best. As promise will stay a promise, I'm not mad, I'm not angry. Just wanted to tell someone. That's all.
3 days to go~
Quote of the morning
"Because I love you~!! Why do you always have to challenge my ego~!!?"
*Grinz*
p/s: I love you too and I can't explain why. Will find ways and do anything to make this work. muakz~ I miss you loadz~
"Because I love you~!! Why do you always have to challenge my ego~!!?"
*Grinz*
p/s: I love you too and I can't explain why. Will find ways and do anything to make this work. muakz~ I miss you loadz~
Sunday, January 18, 2009
6 more days to go...~
I'm coughing like a camel~ and the weather on Genting Highlands is cold~ My back is still ugly and bad~ Chinese New Year is around the corner~!!! arrrrghhhhhh~!!!!!!!!
I'm a whiner~~~ XD
I'm in the office even though it is a Sunday. Working up here on Genting Highlands has it's pros and cons. For instance, I forgot how it is like to have no brainer weekends. When I was schooling, days which I look forward to are Fridays as I know that the following 2 days I will be able to sleep in and take a break from all the craziness. Now a days, my alarm is permanently set to ring at 7.35am every single day.
At home I have my own room with my own comfy bed and a cocoon to keep me warm at night. I don't have to worry how loud i burp or fart. Here, I have a roomate (for the 1st time in my life). I'm not complaining about her. She's sweet and obliging considering how much a difficult person I know I can be sometimes. I have to control every volume of mine, especially when I'm on the phone in the middle of the night, until sometimes Bie gets so fed up cause he can't hear what I say.
Then I had my computer to use at anytime convinient, I had the latest episodes of demanded TV dramas, I play computer games all day log... Here I have nothing, I'm bored every night and lamely go to bed at 9pm every night. My only source of entertainment is Bie's voice over the phone. Sometimes I feel so lost and depressed when I sit or lay down and have nothing to do. I do feel bad that Bie get's the impact. He gets so fed up at times. Sorry for the migraine I cause you Bie~~
While working here sure has many bad sides, there are good parts too, such as, though I do not have weekends, I have accumulated leaves, which means, I go back for a few days straight. the accumulated leave is good in the sense that it's flexible when I decide to take my leaves. With a 4 days straight leave, I only have to add on a couple of days to make it longer and I can be going on vacations. Yes, unlike many other companies which offers close to double the amount of annual leaves, but when your weekends are accumulated, there's no need to have too many annual leaves. Moreover, when we work during public holidays, we can replace those leaves as well. that was how I was able to go back for a week straight for HWC and again for CNY.
Since I started working here, a total of 3 friends has left the company, and the numer is going to be add on to number 5 by Febuary. Friends leaving means demotivation to work. I won't say I don't enjoy working here. But if you do hear complains from me, it's not because I don't like my job, but i just don't like the lifestyle here. I don't like being lonely, I don't like having no place to go and no one to talk to. I don't like immobility. But what I do like being up here is, I can survive even when I do not have a single cent in my pocket. That's because I don't have to pay for my meals, I don't have to pay for rent, and I don't have to buy anything if I don't wish to. That's how cost of living can be saved while I'm up here.
I do wish to go back to Melaka or any 'real' cities to work, someday. But for now I think Genting is the only place for me to work and to sustain my expensive lifestyle back home.I do hope I will be strong and continue working here for at least till this year end. I might opt to go back to school in year 2010. when it comes, I will go back to Melaka and find a job there while I further my studies.
Right now I'm just looking forward to the week end of next week. I will go back to Melaka on Saturday after and only come back up on the following Saturday. CNY is around the corner and I'm really anticipating it. Can't wait to go back to Melaka to spend time at home with the family as well as with Bie. I can't believe how much of a homey person I actually am... Counting down the days...~
I'm a whiner~~~ XD
I'm in the office even though it is a Sunday. Working up here on Genting Highlands has it's pros and cons. For instance, I forgot how it is like to have no brainer weekends. When I was schooling, days which I look forward to are Fridays as I know that the following 2 days I will be able to sleep in and take a break from all the craziness. Now a days, my alarm is permanently set to ring at 7.35am every single day.
At home I have my own room with my own comfy bed and a cocoon to keep me warm at night. I don't have to worry how loud i burp or fart. Here, I have a roomate (for the 1st time in my life). I'm not complaining about her. She's sweet and obliging considering how much a difficult person I know I can be sometimes. I have to control every volume of mine, especially when I'm on the phone in the middle of the night, until sometimes Bie gets so fed up cause he can't hear what I say.
Then I had my computer to use at anytime convinient, I had the latest episodes of demanded TV dramas, I play computer games all day log... Here I have nothing, I'm bored every night and lamely go to bed at 9pm every night. My only source of entertainment is Bie's voice over the phone. Sometimes I feel so lost and depressed when I sit or lay down and have nothing to do. I do feel bad that Bie get's the impact. He gets so fed up at times. Sorry for the migraine I cause you Bie~~
While working here sure has many bad sides, there are good parts too, such as, though I do not have weekends, I have accumulated leaves, which means, I go back for a few days straight. the accumulated leave is good in the sense that it's flexible when I decide to take my leaves. With a 4 days straight leave, I only have to add on a couple of days to make it longer and I can be going on vacations. Yes, unlike many other companies which offers close to double the amount of annual leaves, but when your weekends are accumulated, there's no need to have too many annual leaves. Moreover, when we work during public holidays, we can replace those leaves as well. that was how I was able to go back for a week straight for HWC and again for CNY.
Since I started working here, a total of 3 friends has left the company, and the numer is going to be add on to number 5 by Febuary. Friends leaving means demotivation to work. I won't say I don't enjoy working here. But if you do hear complains from me, it's not because I don't like my job, but i just don't like the lifestyle here. I don't like being lonely, I don't like having no place to go and no one to talk to. I don't like immobility. But what I do like being up here is, I can survive even when I do not have a single cent in my pocket. That's because I don't have to pay for my meals, I don't have to pay for rent, and I don't have to buy anything if I don't wish to. That's how cost of living can be saved while I'm up here.
I do wish to go back to Melaka or any 'real' cities to work, someday. But for now I think Genting is the only place for me to work and to sustain my expensive lifestyle back home.I do hope I will be strong and continue working here for at least till this year end. I might opt to go back to school in year 2010. when it comes, I will go back to Melaka and find a job there while I further my studies.
Right now I'm just looking forward to the week end of next week. I will go back to Melaka on Saturday after and only come back up on the following Saturday. CNY is around the corner and I'm really anticipating it. Can't wait to go back to Melaka to spend time at home with the family as well as with Bie. I can't believe how much of a homey person I actually am... Counting down the days...~
Saturday, January 17, 2009
My name is...
My nephew calls me Nonie...
Aunties and Uncles calls meYawnie...
Some colleagues thinks I'm Lonnie...
Others use Yunie...
My name is Leonie~!!!!!!! LEONIE~!!!!!!!
Aunties and Uncles calls meYawnie...
Some colleagues thinks I'm Lonnie...
Others use Yunie...
My name is Leonie~!!!!!!! LEONIE~!!!!!!!
Cold~
It's so damn cold on Genting Highlands these few days. I'm literally sitting in a fridge. I can't place my hands on the table for a long time, it'll get numb.. the aircond is off, it has been offed for a few days, but it still feels as tho its a mid winter night in Australia without a heater. i feel like bringing my heater to work already. so darn cold~~
I NEED BODY HEAT!!
**anyone wants to offer me hugs?**
=)
I NEED BODY HEAT!!
**anyone wants to offer me hugs?**
=)
Friday, January 16, 2009
brawl~
Quotes of the night:
"How do i not trust you? you are my Baby. I love you so much..."
**Smiles**
"How do i not trust you? you are my Baby. I love you so much..."
**Smiles**
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Anticipation~
Chinese New Year is approximately a week away~ i'm anticipating it~!!! i remember last year i wasn't in the mood because i was all alone with my parents for the festival. this year i have my sister and her family at home~ i only wish my bro was back in Malaysia too, then the family is complete. it has been 2 years since we last had a family dinner together.
i do wonder what would Chinese New Year be like this year. the same old mini reunions at different relatives' house? now that my grand uncle had passed on, what will the 1st day of CNY be for us? at whose house will we be gathering for lunch? will there be the traditional lion dance at my house? would it be different with new additions to the family?
Bie says he'll be at my house to help us out during the open house. He says he wants to cook. haha~!! we'll see how things go. But i do hope he'll be able to melembutkan my mum's hati. I might have to be a tour guide for my brother in law'a sister too. She's from Malta and will be in Melaka for the week of CNY. We'll probably be bringing her around, including a day trip to KL for shopping and perhaps jalan jalan cari makan in Melaka.
I'm anticipating CNY because there are different things to look forward to this year. many things will be different. and there are so many new additions to the family. we'll wait and see what's installed!!
i do wonder what would Chinese New Year be like this year. the same old mini reunions at different relatives' house? now that my grand uncle had passed on, what will the 1st day of CNY be for us? at whose house will we be gathering for lunch? will there be the traditional lion dance at my house? would it be different with new additions to the family?
Bie says he'll be at my house to help us out during the open house. He says he wants to cook. haha~!! we'll see how things go. But i do hope he'll be able to melembutkan my mum's hati. I might have to be a tour guide for my brother in law'a sister too. She's from Malta and will be in Melaka for the week of CNY. We'll probably be bringing her around, including a day trip to KL for shopping and perhaps jalan jalan cari makan in Melaka.
I'm anticipating CNY because there are different things to look forward to this year. many things will be different. and there are so many new additions to the family. we'll wait and see what's installed!!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Skye's 1st Intro to My Blog
my baby nephew Elijah Skye Falcon who we call Skye or Kai Kai at home~ the cutest thing ever.
he is so adorable and is one of the reasons i miss melaka so much~
he is so adorable and is one of the reasons i miss melaka so much~
The Weekend~
I'm back on the mountain after a fruitful and tensed (yes, i know it's 2 different and opposite words) weekend. i'm missing Bie already. wuwu... he's the only reason/motivation that i'm still working up here though i feel so demotivated and depressed a lot of times while i'm up here. i have to be strong if i want our future plans to work out.
Was back to Melaka for the HWC 2008 committee gathering at a rented premise located at Kampung Lapan. We had nasi lemak, steamboat and ikan bakar. Almost all the committee members attended except for few who were absent with apology = ) . After makan and planning for the next day's SKEDS registration, most were enjoying card games and at the end of the night out of 20+ people who came, only 7 stayed over, so everyone had a comfortable sleep that night as we did not have to rush for space.
I can feel that my parents are slowly accepting that i'm a grown up already. they do not make a big fuss about me being me anymore. i expected to have minor brawls but it turns to be none. except that i was't spending enough time at home. i'll take the blame for that as it IS my fault and i deserve the scolding. but other than that, my dad especially, he is really starting to accept my lifestyle, though not very whole hearted but it has to start somewhere. my conscience is clear. i will not do anything that disgraces the family. so i don't see the reason the can't put more trust in me. i know it's difficult for them but they'll inderstand and let go one day.
it'll be 10 days to my next trip home. will go back on the 24th and coming back up on the 31st. it'll be a one week bliss in Melaka. and there will be so much more to look forward to this year. i sort of introduced Bie to the family already. Mum seem to be ok with it after being pleased by the sambal ikan bakar which Bie made for the gathering. Bie will likely be at my house on one of the days of CNY to help my mum cook. I'm so looking forward to it.
And... i have a new pair of Adidas Superstar~!!! i didn't have time to take a picture of it before i came up here but i can explain how it looks like. 1st and foremost, it's an Adifit and seem to be for kids (or ladies), it's size 3. the base color is black and it has a pair of colorful adidas classic logo on the sides, the loops for the lace is colorful too. it's cute and i'm in love with it. Thanks Bie for giving me my very 1st pair of Superstar. Love you...
My shopping and preparation for CNY is technically ready. I have almost everything hat i want and need. all that's left is for me to physically be in Melaka for the celebration, that's all. My back is giving me a lot a problem though. the blemish has inflammed again last week, but with the application of Aloe Vera Gel for the past few days, it's getting better. I hope it'll be gone by the time i go back to Melaka. if not i tak payah pakai baju baru di.
Was back to Melaka for the HWC 2008 committee gathering at a rented premise located at Kampung Lapan. We had nasi lemak, steamboat and ikan bakar. Almost all the committee members attended except for few who were absent with apology = ) . After makan and planning for the next day's SKEDS registration, most were enjoying card games and at the end of the night out of 20+ people who came, only 7 stayed over, so everyone had a comfortable sleep that night as we did not have to rush for space.
I can feel that my parents are slowly accepting that i'm a grown up already. they do not make a big fuss about me being me anymore. i expected to have minor brawls but it turns to be none. except that i was't spending enough time at home. i'll take the blame for that as it IS my fault and i deserve the scolding. but other than that, my dad especially, he is really starting to accept my lifestyle, though not very whole hearted but it has to start somewhere. my conscience is clear. i will not do anything that disgraces the family. so i don't see the reason the can't put more trust in me. i know it's difficult for them but they'll inderstand and let go one day.
it'll be 10 days to my next trip home. will go back on the 24th and coming back up on the 31st. it'll be a one week bliss in Melaka. and there will be so much more to look forward to this year. i sort of introduced Bie to the family already. Mum seem to be ok with it after being pleased by the sambal ikan bakar which Bie made for the gathering. Bie will likely be at my house on one of the days of CNY to help my mum cook. I'm so looking forward to it.
And... i have a new pair of Adidas Superstar~!!! i didn't have time to take a picture of it before i came up here but i can explain how it looks like. 1st and foremost, it's an Adifit and seem to be for kids (or ladies), it's size 3. the base color is black and it has a pair of colorful adidas classic logo on the sides, the loops for the lace is colorful too. it's cute and i'm in love with it. Thanks Bie for giving me my very 1st pair of Superstar. Love you...
My shopping and preparation for CNY is technically ready. I have almost everything hat i want and need. all that's left is for me to physically be in Melaka for the celebration, that's all. My back is giving me a lot a problem though. the blemish has inflammed again last week, but with the application of Aloe Vera Gel for the past few days, it's getting better. I hope it'll be gone by the time i go back to Melaka. if not i tak payah pakai baju baru di.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
smell of freshly cut grass
yeay~!! i perfected my new blog skin. now it has a comment link where you can just click and leave your footsteps. i readjusted the font formatting too. now it looks better. what do you think of the new outlook? nice? not?
anywayz~!! i'll be going back to melaka today. looking forward to tonight's appreciation night. im also going to give mum a new handphone and i will be meeting my new nephew~!!! finally. i miss being at home so darn much. it's been 3 weeks since i was last at home.
anywayz, see you in melaka~!!
anywayz~!! i'll be going back to melaka today. looking forward to tonight's appreciation night. im also going to give mum a new handphone and i will be meeting my new nephew~!!! finally. i miss being at home so darn much. it's been 3 weeks since i was last at home.
anywayz, see you in melaka~!!
Friday, January 09, 2009
2 Years Later~
Did this survey 2 years ago... let's see how much i've changed... White and italic is 2 years ago, green are my answers now.
A is for age:
@ 22 and 3 months
{20 and two months exactly}
B is for beer of choice:
@ Heniekken is my favourite. but i drink anything else as well. Blame it on Langkawi that i learnt to drink again~
{i don't know how to drink sadly... langsung not chinese sialz...}
C is for career right now:
@ HR Executive working for Resorts World Bhd based on Genting Highlands, Pahang.
{Student... majoring in messing up and over obsessing on things that i like...}
E is for essential item you useeveryday:
@ Handphone, company computer and the bed~
{the thing that i'm looking at now... my PC, secondary is my k700i}
F is for favorite TV show at the moment:
# One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl though I'm so outdated already.
{Grey's Anatomy}
G is for favorite game:
# sleeping, lazying, arguing...
{currently it's volleyball.. }
H is for Home town:
# Malacca alwayz~
{Malacca my home...}
I is for instruments you play:
@ My fingers are still short. and i haven't learnt anything new.
{use to be able to play the guitar... i gave up after realising that my fingers aren't long enough}
J is for favorite juice:
@ Green apple... I have quit coffee because of my stomach condition.
{juice? i only have ONE favourite liquid, it's called COFFEE...}
K is for whose butt you'd like to kick:
@ hahaha... you do not want to know~
{the K in this question will stand for *** in my answer... i want to kick him in the butt for making me feel like this for him now}
L is for last place you eat:
@ Office, wating Koko Crunch.
{in front of my PC while watching Grey's Anatomy}
M is for music:
@ R&B
{Ah Yue - Ai Wo Bie Zhou}
N is for next trip you will be taking:
@ Suppose to be Perhentian somewhere this year, but we'll see how things go.
{SINGAPORE~!!! go shopping for CNY}
O is for overnight hospital stays:
@ Never had... only almost had to while i was having the stomach condition.
{don't ever wish that i will have to frequent it... }
P is for people you were with today:
@ My Genting Highlands Family~
{That will be Chi ei and Radikah... then there is my parents and later my baby nephew and his parents }
Q is for quote:
@ Suka hati lu lar...
{how do you think a sloth mates?}
R is for Biggest Regret:
@ Making rush dicisions.
{forcing feelings for someone i know i won't have real feelings for... }
S is for status:
@ Sucks...Sucky life on the mountain
{single n lovin' it~!!!}
T is for time you woke up today:
@ 7.35am to get ready for work.
{9+ to help mum make tang yuen}
U is for the color of your umbrella:
@ Pink... and pink panther designs all over...
{pink.... and pink panther designs all over...}
V is for vegetable you love:
@ Anything i can get hold of except if they are raw
{every single green leaf except for those with scent}
W is for worst habit:
@ Being emotional
{shaking my feet... }
X is for x-rays you've had
@ my teeth and my heart
{my teeth and my heart}
Y is for yummy food you eat today:
@ Mammee instant noodles... Kari Berletup Slrpppp~
{instant noodles from China}
Z is for zodiac sign:
@ Libra, it's still untrue what they say about them~
{libra...it's totally untrue what they say about librans, by the way.}
**~~**~~**
A is for age:
@ 22 and 3 months
{20 and two months exactly}
B is for beer of choice:
@ Heniekken is my favourite. but i drink anything else as well. Blame it on Langkawi that i learnt to drink again~
{i don't know how to drink sadly... langsung not chinese sialz...}
C is for career right now:
@ HR Executive working for Resorts World Bhd based on Genting Highlands, Pahang.
{Student... majoring in messing up and over obsessing on things that i like...}
E is for essential item you useeveryday:
@ Handphone, company computer and the bed~
{the thing that i'm looking at now... my PC, secondary is my k700i}
F is for favorite TV show at the moment:
# One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl though I'm so outdated already.
{Grey's Anatomy}
G is for favorite game:
# sleeping, lazying, arguing...
{currently it's volleyball.. }
H is for Home town:
# Malacca alwayz~
{Malacca my home...}
I is for instruments you play:
@ My fingers are still short. and i haven't learnt anything new.
{use to be able to play the guitar... i gave up after realising that my fingers aren't long enough}
J is for favorite juice:
@ Green apple... I have quit coffee because of my stomach condition.
{juice? i only have ONE favourite liquid, it's called COFFEE...}
K is for whose butt you'd like to kick:
@ hahaha... you do not want to know~
{the K in this question will stand for *** in my answer... i want to kick him in the butt for making me feel like this for him now}
L is for last place you eat:
@ Office, wating Koko Crunch.
{in front of my PC while watching Grey's Anatomy}
M is for music:
@ R&B
{Ah Yue - Ai Wo Bie Zhou}
N is for next trip you will be taking:
@ Suppose to be Perhentian somewhere this year, but we'll see how things go.
{SINGAPORE~!!! go shopping for CNY}
O is for overnight hospital stays:
@ Never had... only almost had to while i was having the stomach condition.
{don't ever wish that i will have to frequent it... }
P is for people you were with today:
@ My Genting Highlands Family~
{That will be Chi ei and Radikah... then there is my parents and later my baby nephew and his parents }
Q is for quote:
@ Suka hati lu lar...
{how do you think a sloth mates?}
R is for Biggest Regret:
@ Making rush dicisions.
{forcing feelings for someone i know i won't have real feelings for... }
S is for status:
@ Sucks...Sucky life on the mountain
{single n lovin' it~!!!}
T is for time you woke up today:
@ 7.35am to get ready for work.
{9+ to help mum make tang yuen}
U is for the color of your umbrella:
@ Pink... and pink panther designs all over...
{pink.... and pink panther designs all over...}
V is for vegetable you love:
@ Anything i can get hold of except if they are raw
{every single green leaf except for those with scent}
W is for worst habit:
@ Being emotional
{shaking my feet... }
X is for x-rays you've had
@ my teeth and my heart
{my teeth and my heart}
Y is for yummy food you eat today:
@ Mammee instant noodles... Kari Berletup Slrpppp~
{instant noodles from China}
Z is for zodiac sign:
@ Libra, it's still untrue what they say about them~
{libra...it's totally untrue what they say about librans, by the way.}
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Will go home for the weekend~!!!
I'll be back in Melaka this week~!!! yeay. can't wait. though it's just for 2 days but really, i think it will be energizing for me. i feel horribly down and demotivated ever since i came back from my 12 days leave. missing melaka and everything about it so so badly.
i really hope there will be no tears, no fights and all will be well this trip. there will be an event that i (we) am looking forward to which will be on going on Saturday night. i hope everything is prepared and ready.
i'm blogging from the executive's club on Genting tonight. after getting scolded for being 'anti-social', i decided to come out tonight instead of indulging in my 9.00pm sleep as always. when i'm up here, i don't know why but i don't really feel the urge of hanging out. maybe i'm still not use to the place and people.
anywayz, i'm anxiously anticipating the weekend~!! 2 days more~!!
i really hope there will be no tears, no fights and all will be well this trip. there will be an event that i (we) am looking forward to which will be on going on Saturday night. i hope everything is prepared and ready.
i'm blogging from the executive's club on Genting tonight. after getting scolded for being 'anti-social', i decided to come out tonight instead of indulging in my 9.00pm sleep as always. when i'm up here, i don't know why but i don't really feel the urge of hanging out. maybe i'm still not use to the place and people.
anywayz, i'm anxiously anticipating the weekend~!! 2 days more~!!
fuh~~~
oh my goodness... it shows how long i haven't been meddling with the 'insides' of my poor blog. i don't know how to change my template~!!! my comment box is missing. how to get it back???? any pointers, frequent bloggers out there???
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
WOW~
2009 marks the 5th year that I've been blogging. It's been that long huh? I forgot who among the 2.40 clan that started blogging 1st. but after the 1st person, it became like a blogging galore for awhile where more and more of our friends started ranting in blogs. my blog personally has gone through a lot. it had been:-
discreeted
busted
name changed
scolded
complained
slandered
abandoned
it has gone through a lot. i still love it. one thing that hasn't changed is it's looks. Some people say it's suicidal, some say emo, one said got momok. I can't find a replacement that's the reason it has not been changed.
I might be changing the looks soon. Happy blogging ya'll~!!!
discreeted
busted
name changed
scolded
complained
slandered
abandoned
it has gone through a lot. i still love it. one thing that hasn't changed is it's looks. Some people say it's suicidal, some say emo, one said got momok. I can't find a replacement that's the reason it has not been changed.
I might be changing the looks soon. Happy blogging ya'll~!!!
Bored, Worried, Uneasy, Hatred... All in 1
Just when my wanted to rule out my own prediction of a Rainstorm of Tears and a Tsunami of Emotions, it happened at the very last moments of the season. It happened in a very big scale as well. Still feeling the aftershocks, and now my prediction is that it is still a long way to being announced as cleared.
It's not nice to feel threaten and being in an insecure position. it feels like i'm about to break down most of the time and the slightest trigger, to do with the root of the problem or not, will start my tears flowing. all day long there's a feeling like as if i'm about to collapse of a heart attack. and my imagination just doesn't stop. it's seriously horrible.
I believe it's karma and i'm feeling the effects now. it's cruel, it's cold. and i can't believe how really insensitive some people can be. i'm lost and confuse and really don't know who to trust anymore. and it's bad in the sense that this crap is really effecting my work performance. i'm demotivated to moptivate myself.
i miss the comfort and feeling of being at home a lot. home where i'm back in my safety bubble, protected. i miss the feeling of being hugged and kissed by Bie, another thing i'm afraid to run dry of. i miss being a baby to my Bie. i miss the anticipation while driving to meet Bie. i miss being cuddled and giggling to silly things (like the silly robot act). i miss the temple and work camp. i miss my mum especially as well as the rest of the family including my baby nephew which i haven't met. i miss being loved. i miss being ME.
i do hope that this shit in my life will pass by like a stranger walking on the sidewalks. i hope it'll be over and so that i will stop blaming myself. i hope to have a good night rest without worrisome in my head. and i hope the weekend will come fast.
You are the 1st thing on my mind in the morning,
And the last voice i want to hear before i fall asleep,
You are the completion to my life,
And the cure to all pain i go through,
You are my laughter and joy,
And saviour from tears,
Even if i were to choose again,
There's nothing that i would change,
I would do anything just to see the smile on your face,
Protecting you from sufferings and worriness,
I love you with all my heart, always.
It's not nice to feel threaten and being in an insecure position. it feels like i'm about to break down most of the time and the slightest trigger, to do with the root of the problem or not, will start my tears flowing. all day long there's a feeling like as if i'm about to collapse of a heart attack. and my imagination just doesn't stop. it's seriously horrible.
I believe it's karma and i'm feeling the effects now. it's cruel, it's cold. and i can't believe how really insensitive some people can be. i'm lost and confuse and really don't know who to trust anymore. and it's bad in the sense that this crap is really effecting my work performance. i'm demotivated to moptivate myself.
i miss the comfort and feeling of being at home a lot. home where i'm back in my safety bubble, protected. i miss the feeling of being hugged and kissed by Bie, another thing i'm afraid to run dry of. i miss being a baby to my Bie. i miss the anticipation while driving to meet Bie. i miss being cuddled and giggling to silly things (like the silly robot act). i miss the temple and work camp. i miss my mum especially as well as the rest of the family including my baby nephew which i haven't met. i miss being loved. i miss being ME.
i do hope that this shit in my life will pass by like a stranger walking on the sidewalks. i hope it'll be over and so that i will stop blaming myself. i hope to have a good night rest without worrisome in my head. and i hope the weekend will come fast.
You are the 1st thing on my mind in the morning,
And the last voice i want to hear before i fall asleep,
You are the completion to my life,
And the cure to all pain i go through,
You are my laughter and joy,
And saviour from tears,
Even if i were to choose again,
There's nothing that i would change,
I would do anything just to see the smile on your face,
Protecting you from sufferings and worriness,
I love you with all my heart, always.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Earth to you~
you are self-centred, i hope you know that. can't you understand that what's not meant to be yours will never be yours? you had it once, you let it go, now can't you accept that you only have to move on now.
do you know what complications you have caused in other people's lives because of your selfish lies. if you really love him, let him go. if you love him, you'll want to see him happy and not being confused and stuck in a dead end not knowing what to do.
is being called a bitch or being hated cool to you in your life? i know it's non of my business to say this. but you have really hurt me real bad. really really bad till the point, you are so close to ruining my life.
move on. seriously. things in this matter can't be forced even how hard you try. if it's meant to be, one day, one way or another it will resurface itself. for now please... leave our lives alone. come back to reality. earth to you~
do you know what complications you have caused in other people's lives because of your selfish lies. if you really love him, let him go. if you love him, you'll want to see him happy and not being confused and stuck in a dead end not knowing what to do.
is being called a bitch or being hated cool to you in your life? i know it's non of my business to say this. but you have really hurt me real bad. really really bad till the point, you are so close to ruining my life.
move on. seriously. things in this matter can't be forced even how hard you try. if it's meant to be, one day, one way or another it will resurface itself. for now please... leave our lives alone. come back to reality. earth to you~
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Losing Body Fats...
i lost weight. it's a good thing. I know. but i loose weight at the wrong places. I notice it from the beginning, my bra cups doesn't fill up anymore~!!! plus, i use to have what people use to say, valley lar... longkang lar...where i use to 'show off' in low cut v-necked clothings, something my boyfriend use to say is the only femine part of me, now all he says is "you 'leper' di~"(actually it sounds much ruder then this but it's a public blog, not nice to put the actual sentence here... hehe...). alamak... sedih nyer...
I WANT MY BOOBS BACK~!!!!!
I WANT MY BOOBS BACK~!!!!!